Umm.. nuclear warhead or any other big problem ... paperclip .. no problem

To tie up people so they can't leave the country. Hm, wonder how I came up with that one?

1. set it to go off to update four coconuts
2. hit snooze button when I can't think of anything creative.
3. hopefully think of something creative...

hey, they can't all be winners.

1. Turn the volume to a low setting
2. Program each of the alarm functions to go off at three different points throughout the night
3. Select a different alarm sound for each time the alarm goes off, beginning with something soothing, progressing to something upbeat, and ending with something dark and scary
4. Wake up the next morning in a cold sweat

alternatively bury it in a time capsule.

after pre-determined number of years retrieve the time capsule and use clock radio as a prop to charm and bemuse young children with tales of yore when the clock radio was the most reliable method to ensure you woke up to catch the school bus on time.

Fill the pepper shaker with slug repellant to give an even spread of pest control powder. Use around the garden as required and desired.

Shake pepper into hand. Lower lips to palm of hand. Gently exhale breath, almost kiss-like in direction of animated target. Target can't help but gasp an inhale, and should begin sneezing momentarily.

Scream at the top of your lungs about inanities and threaten small children.

1. Carefully unwire the hanger (you may have to go to the gym to build up your hands, wrists and maybe forearms first)

2. Locate a ferrari

3. Slide unwired hangar wire into side of driver side window

4. Do whatever it is they do in the movies to unlock the door

You may need to wait until Ezra posts what to do with a Swiss army knife in order to get the ferrari in motion.

it's about time.

That way I can light it up whenever I have a bright idea

Make a mini ferris wheel using old fairy liquid bottles and sticky back plastic.
Put the fire service number in phone, ready to dial.
Attach lightbulbs and wire up.
Turn on the power and see how it goes!

Set up the traffic cones like bowling pins.
Use a tire as the bowling ball.

Find 9 moronic imbeciles to sit on a panel. Let them wear the traffic cones as hats.

I would create 8 wire stands of equal height and 1 stand which is slightly higher. Then I would place the cones, inverted, into the stands, and place then in a row. I would proceed to fill the cones with a olive oil and long wick.

Light away!

1. Lay out an 8x8 canvas
2. Fill multiple paint trays with different colors
3. Dip broom in paint
4. Sweep paint on to canvas
5. Change colors
6. Sweep new color
7. Repeat steps 3-6 until you believe you've completed the next Rothko
8. Auction off at Christies
9. Live the rest of your life in Maui

just sprinkle some witch dust on it and ride to the susnet where all the witches meet.

Climb on it and jump.